Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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