I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
