So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
