At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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