garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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