I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
