OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
