No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
