so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
