He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
