My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
