That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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