How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
being pregnant is like rehab
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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