Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
