Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
