i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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