Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
