In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
