Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
