I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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