Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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