I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
