the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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