Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
