My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
