I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
