The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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