May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
