I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
