I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
