glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
