the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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