How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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