So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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