Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
