i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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