He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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