The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
