haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
