i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
