who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
