That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Im part way to drunk.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
