His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
