meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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