We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
