My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
