I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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