Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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