Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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