community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
