It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
