i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
